Beauty is Only Skin Deep But.............

During our July and August visit to our home in The Villages, our dear friends convinced us to go to a "show" and lunch with a bunch of friends.  What is the old saying?  With friends like this, who needs enemies?  The singers were really not singers but lip syncing to various songs.  If you look closely at the singers they were also not what they appeared to be either.
The afternoon started out by our waitress planting herself and the end of our table of eight and saying in a loud voice, and I quote "liten up fellas, I'm only going to say this once....  the vegetables are corn, carrots, cold slaw and apple sauce".  That just got me started and I knew it was going to be a rough day.  I laughed so hard at that I just knew I was in for trouble. 

After the lunch the "ladies", and I use that word lightly, came out to sing their songs.  We were told to place the tips in a certain part of their clothing which I simply would not do.  Every Monday night at bingo I get soggy dollars bills from that piece of clothing and I certainly was not going to participate in that. 

Being the smart a-- I am I decided to give them a little run for their money so I put the first dollar bill in between the buttons of my shirt.  Lady Gabriel came and politely took it.  The next time she came around I put the bill a little further into my shirt and this time she unbuttoned my shirt.  I was a bit appalled.   So at this point I was laughing so hard I thought I'd give it one more try and put it in there again.  This time Joan Crawford came to get it and proceeded to put my face between her piggy banks if you know what I mean which embarrassed the hell out of me but I deserved it and got a wild round of applause. 

I think it's very important to understand that I had nothing to drink except a diet soda.  God knows what would have happened had I been drinking.  After the show they both came out to apologize for teasing me and to say what a good sport I am.   I think Steve might have been a bit embarrassed but what the hell, you only live once and I hope this show was the first and last one I end up at.  I have to admit, we did laugh a lot.  Our dear friend Jimm told the other guys at our table that Steve was the conservative one but Brian.......  Should I be insulted? 

I have since gone up to the Pine Cone and suggested that they get the attention of the entire dinning room and say, "listen up people, the specials are....... and I'm not telling you this again".  They liked it.